Okay, cool! Turns out Justin Bieber got a face tattoo, so everybody else’s weekend really pales in comparison (unless you got one too).
But calm down, anyone who remembers when Gucci Mane got an ice cream cone inked on his upper cheekbone: Baby Biebs only treated himself to a tiny cross under his right eye that’s so small you probably wouldn’t even know it was a tattoo if not for me telling you about it right now. (And like, everybody else on Twitter and Facebook talking about it.) Bless us everyone.
But still, as all tattoos do (I think), this one has a meaning. Us Weekly reports that according to Bieber’s tattoo artist Jonboy, “Justin came in last night [Friday] and decided on a small cross near the corner of his eye.”
“It represents his journey and finding purposed with God,” he explained.
And sure! Sure. Who am I to say this isn’t the way one finds and cements purpose with God? Right now I’m wearing a thrifted tie-dye sweatshirt and put Nestle Quik in my coffee, so technically I’m an expert on nothing, but especially on how to live one’s life.
But goddamn it, Justin, you’re the world’s little brother and most of us just wish you’d thought a little harder before committing to more ink. You have so much! Look how much ink you have! And sure, that cross is lovely and it is tasteful, but so help us everyone, it’s on your face forever now.
And no shame! No shame. You are a grown up according to the law, and if you want to cover your face in tattoos, I can’t stop you nor will I try. But I just feel like a great rule for face tattoos is to think about them for two weeks before going for it. Maybe even three! Or four. Or a while. Or commit to something serious like Gucci Mane’s ice cream cone. Or maybe even a tattoo of Gucci Mane’s face with Gucci Mane’s ice cream tattoo on it. That I would stand up and applaud you for.
But in this moment, you are like my little brother making choices that I’m like, “Justin I get it, but ugh, are you sure?” about. Because I will congratulate your choice to be yourself, but I will also look way too closely at it if we ever meet and inevitably say, “Oh wow … so it’s real, eh?” officially making my first impression that of a concerned aunt.
But fine! Fine. Face tattoos for all! Or just for Justin! Our wee baby son!
