{"id":104008,"date":"2017-03-17T11:47:02","date_gmt":"2017-03-17T15:47:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=104008"},"modified":"2019-09-12T16:00:36","modified_gmt":"2019-09-12T20:00:36","slug":"questions-beauty-and-the-beast-better-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/questions-beauty-and-the-beast-better-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"Questions Beauty and the Beast Better Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m going to be honest: I&#8217;m probably not going to see the new <em>Beauty and the Beast<\/em>. And honestly, it is 100% because I&#8217;m not fun. That&#8217;s really why: I don&#8217;t care, and I&#8217;m not fun. It&#8217;s that simple! My <em>Beauty and the Beast<\/em> memories will live and die with the 1991 version that absolutely scarred me for life (remember when Gaston\u00a0<em>stabs the animal-man in the children&#8217;s movie<\/em>?) and that&#8217;s fine, and I&#8217;m okay with this, but I know all of you are very psyched about <em>BATB<\/em> 2.0 so, with that in mind, I have some questions.<\/p>\n<p>The first:\u00a0are you mad at me about not wanting to see <em>Beauty and the Beas<\/em>t?<\/p>\n<p>The second:\u00a0see below.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do you think the townspeople actually liked Belle? I wouldn&#8217;t, TBH, because I have\u00a0<em>been<\/em> Belle and I was a real asshat to the people I grew up with for a while because I thought I was smarter and better than they were.<\/li>\n<li>When the Beast turned into the Beast, he was a teen &#8212; do you think when he transforms back into A Dude it&#8217;s a Tom Hanks-in-Big situation? Like, how do you reconcile all of a sudden having the bod of a grown-ass man?<\/li>\n<li>If a teacup or dish or whatever broke, did that person die?<\/li>\n<li>How did they bury their dead? None of these objects have arms.<\/li>\n<li>What about the objects that already existed? Did they achieve sentience?<\/li>\n<li>Was there a rivalry between existing objects and the objects that developed their own train of thought?<\/li>\n<li>Did the Beast really not know how to read as a teenager?<\/li>\n<li>Who failed this man?<\/li>\n<li>Where are his parents?<\/li>\n<li>Where did his nanny go?<\/li>\n<li>Honestly what would the Beast really have done if Belle left? He&#8217;d never hurt or killed anyone before, so like, would he all of a sudden escalate and go after her dad?<\/li>\n<li>Was the whole town just totally chill about the Beast\/castle situation until this moment?<\/li>\n<li>Was it an open secret or a rumour or what was the deal?<\/li>\n<li>Is everybody aware that the Beast is Krampus?<\/li>\n<li>Do you think Belle knew the Beast was Krampus?<\/li>\n<li>How did the Beast find pants and clothes that fit?<\/li>\n<li>Do you think Belle had to reconcile the fact that who she was falling in love with was for sure a talking animal? Like I&#8217;m not being a mean person here, I am just saying that imagine your friend was like &#8220;I like this guy&#8221; and then busted out a picture of Krampus. That&#8217;s a real conversation for a real day.<\/li>\n<li>Why didn&#8217;t Belle have any friends?<\/li>\n<li>Why was Marie taking so long with the baguettes?<\/li>\n<li>Why is Belle so dismissive of the citizens just trying their best?<\/li>\n<li>Why\u00a0is Gaston? Like, in general?<\/li>\n<li>Am I a bad person because I would judge my friends for telling me they loved someone with horns and a tail?<\/li>\n<li>Am I a bad person in general?<\/li>\n<li>Where is Peabo Bryson?<\/li>\n<li>Is Celine Dion reading this, do you think?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>RIP those broken dishes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m going to be honest: I&#8217;m probably not going to see the new Beauty and the Beast. And honestly, it is 100% because I&#8217;m not fun. That&#8217;s really why: I don&#8217;t care, and I&#8217;m not fun. It&#8217;s that simple! My Beauty and the Beast memories will live and die with the 1991 version that absolutely [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67426,"featured_media":104013,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81718],"tags":[83613,72599,66422,66273,66390,81720],"class_list":["post-104008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-anne-t-donahue-musings","tag-beauty-and-beast","tag-emma-watson","tag-movies","tag-pop-culture","tag-topstory"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Questions Beauty and the Beast Better Answer - 29Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The long-awaited Beauty and the Beast hits theatres today and we have some questions we need answered.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Questions Beauty and the Beast Better Answer - 29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The long-awaited Beauty and the Beast hits theatres today and we have some questions we need answered.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/questions-beauty-and-the-beast-better-answer\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-03-17T15:47:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-09-12T20:00:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/29s_beauty-and-the-beast.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"667\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Anne T. 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