Last night’s Met Gala had a very simple theme: Comme des Garcons’s Rei Kawakubo. That was it. That was the theme. All anybody had to do was wear pieces designed or inspired by a\u00a0brilliant woman, and they would’ve succeeded at doing the most basic of tasks in the history of time and space.<\/p>\n
And I mean for real: if you were a famous person who was invited to the biggest night in fashion, it’s assumed that you have enough money to wear or rent a piece that follows the theme. And that\u00a0means that following the theme shouldn’t have been a feat. It should’ve been a question of tapping into the designer’s\u00a040-year legacy\u00a0which has been defined\u00a0by creating influential pieces that have challenged\u00a0existing style norms and celebrated the idea of in-betweenness. It should’ve been a celebration of shapes and textures and risk-taking. It should’ve looked like what Rihanna, Solange, Zoe Kravitz and Janelle Monae wore. It was not prom, it was not\u00a0your coworker’s wedding, it was not the Oscars red carpet. It was the Met Gala and therefore attendees had only one job: TO FOLLOW THE THEME.<\/p>\n
I mean, goddamn it. Goddamn it, you guys, what the hell. What the hell was Selena Gomez wearing? She looked nice, but why\u00a0did she also look like she’d plucked her slip dress off the Mariposa rack just in time for grade eight grad? Why was Kendall Jenner dressed like a chorus girl from the Phantom of the Opera<\/em>? Why did\u00a0Kylie Jenner channel\u00a0“cool mother of the bride” vibes? Hell, even Clare Danes and her pirate shirt made more sense. Diddy lounging on the red carpet steps made more sense. I felt like I was watching the scene in Legally Blonde<\/em> where Elle shows up in a bunny costume, only in this case, Elle was the only person dressed appropriately. DOES EVERYBODY KNOW WHAT A THEME IS?<\/p>\n Do they? Do they know? Because this isn’t semi-formal where “midnight masquerade” is option. Fuck man, the attendees of the mask party in Fifty Shades Darker<\/em> committed better to a “please dress in a particular way” sense of the word. Honestly, Eyes Wide Shut<\/em> did a better job of maintaining\u00a0a vibe. These are some of the wealthiest and most influential people in the world, and instead of paying homage to a beautiful designer who is truly too good for this world (too pure), they looked at the invite and said “Yeah, but I will wear this piece that I was going to wear regardless, cool?”<\/p>\n