Today is the first day of Spring, and that means you’ve made it. You got here. You, like me, came through the darkest winter in the history of time and space, and have pulled yourself into the dawn of a new day. And that means that despite the still-freezing temperatures aside, we have reason to hope again. Because nothing lasts forever, and now, instead of me whispering that phrase to myself alone in the dark at 4 p.m. as a type of mantra, I am saying it to you as a cry of victory. Winter 2018 is over and it is never coming back. And while Spring 2018 can still morph into a blazing tire fire, it’s too early for us to declare it a roaring disaster.<\/p>\n
Today is the first day of an era of promise.<\/p>\n
But that said, when the going gets tough and\/or the news morphs into a montage of the worst moments to have happened since any of us were born and\/or it gets cold and snowy again despite it obviously being springtime, here’s what you need to remember and repeat to yourself:<\/p>\n
There is no reason to ruin anybody’s spring by wearing flip-flops<\/strong> But for real, dress like it’s autumn and you’ll be fine
\nHere’s the thing: spring is a joyous, beautiful time. And you’re ruining it by wearing flip-flops. What are you doing? You still need a jacket. Your feet are cold. You know they’re cold. This look is bad. Stop it. The person across the street from you was having a very nice day until they saw you wearing flip-flops in 7-degree weather. I know you’re excited, but why are you taking it out on us. I have some shoes in my car. Wait here while I go get them.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>I know we all got climatized to the coldest, dampest, worst winter in recent memory, but remember the way you dressed in October and November. And dress that way. It’s chilly out, and I don’t want you to get sick. Even though you\u00a0will<\/em> get sick. Because . . .<\/p>\n