{"id":115450,"date":"2019-01-10T10:31:22","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T15:31:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=115450"},"modified":"2019-07-15T15:59:21","modified_gmt":"2019-07-15T19:59:21","slug":"lady-gaga-r-kelly-and-the-responsibility-of-collaborators","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/lady-gaga-r-kelly-and-the-responsibility-of-collaborators\/","title":{"rendered":"Lady Gaga, R. Kelly, And The Responsibility Of Collaborators"},"content":{"rendered":"

Despite the conversations sparked by last week\u2019s Lifetime series Surviving R. Kelly<\/em>, we know that the sexual assault allegations against him aren\u2019t exactly new<\/a>. In fact, it\u2019s been two decades since news that the singer preyed on teenage girls<\/a> first broke, and in those 20 years we\u2019ve still seen him release music, collaborate with the music industry\u2019s biggest names, and face no consequences whatsoever. Which obviously sends a message: despite lip service paid to survivors of sexual assault, if a(n alleged) predator is a big enough name or has enough power, those he\u2019s hurt will be ignored and forgotten. (Especially so if those survivors aren\u2019t white or powerful themselves). So as R. Kelly (allegedly) preyed habitually on young black girls, he got to continue making music. And while Chance the Rapper<\/a> and John Legend are two artists who used the documentary to speak out against him, collaborator and survivor advocate Lady Gaga did not \u2013 until today.<\/p>\n

In a lengthy Twitter post<\/a>, Gaga apologized for working with R. Kelly, and explained that she recorded and performed \u201cDo What U Want (With My Body)\u201d during \u201ca dark time in [her] life\u201d as a means of defiance because she \u201cwas angry and still hadn\u2019t processed the trauma that had occurred in [her] own life.\u201d And in addition to saying she plans to pull the single from streaming services, she adds, \u201cI think it\u2019s clear how explicitly twisted my thinking was at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n

She also included the following: \u201cI stand behind these women 1000%, believe them, know they are suffering and in pain, and feel strongly that their voices should be heard and taken seriously. I\u2019m sorry, both for my poor judgement when I was young, and for not speaking out sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

And, well, there\u2019s a lot to unpack here. To start, the way a survivor copes with their trauma is an extremely personal and complicated process, and under no circumstances can anyone respond to an explanation by claiming that Gaga should\u2019ve known better from the onset and\/or did and\/or is merely doing damage control. If we believe survivors, we must also believe them when they share with us the way they\u2019ve coped or compartmentalized.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Above: Lady Gaga and R. Kelly performing on Saturday Night Live in 2013<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But hearing someone\u2019s apology and understanding where it\u2019s coming from also doesn\u2019t mean someone is completely absolved, either. Gaga\u2019s post may be heartfelt and legitimate, but if her choice to record and perform with a notorious predator has hurt some enough that they refuse to engage with her or even accept it, that\u2019s also fine. Again, how a survivor copes with trauma is their business, and while the singer\u2019s apology and acknowledgement is important, it still might not be enough. And that has to be okay, too. Boundaries are necessary to healing, and they\u2019re also very subjective. It\u2019s not up to someone like me, an observer, to say everything\u2019s better now. Especially since what R. Kelly\u2019s being accused with hasn\u2019t ended with a resolution or anything other than claims that he might be facing charges, maybe<\/em>.<\/p>\n

So do I think it\u2019s about time that Gaga, a woman who advocates for survivors, has spoken up about her part in elevating a man who\u2019s hurt so many people his actions have sparked a multi-part documentary series? Absolutely. Do I get to declare that her words were enough to grant all-encompassing absolution? I do not, since I am not one of the girls or young women R. Kelly preyed on. (Nor am I the survivor of sexual assault, which means I really don\u2019t get to dictate the terms of healing.) Do I think that it\u2019s a start? Sure, if it means more and more collaborators are going to step forward, apologize, and acknowledge their complicity. After all, it also took a village to uphold and protect R. Kelly. And we\u2019re still painfully far from dismantling the system that allowed him to flourish.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Despite the conversations sparked by last week\u2019s Lifetime series Surviving R. Kelly, we know that the sexual assault allegations against him aren\u2019t exactly new. In fact, it\u2019s been two decades since news that the singer preyed on teenage girls first broke, and in those 20 years we\u2019ve still seen him release music, collaborate with the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67426,"featured_media":115451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81718],"tags":[83613,83462,83461,65345,78733,83292,81720],"class_list":["post-115450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-anne-t-donahue-musings","tag-chance-the-rapper","tag-john-legend","tag-lady-gaga","tag-ae","tag-top-story","tag-topstory"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLady Gaga, R. 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