It\u2019s the start of the work week, and you know what that means: the majority of anyone \u201clargely online\u201d will be preaching the rise and grind manifesto while the rest of us lay in bed far too long, scrolling through Twitter and wondering if the people we worked for could be charmed into paying us for doing nothing, forever.<\/p>\n
So this is for you: the actual pep-talk most of us are interested in and also need, particularly if you\u2019ve woken up to a headache, weird emails, or to the realization that you forgot to buy coffee and are now drinking Diet Pepsi at 10 in the morning because somehow this is the adult you morphed into.<\/p>\n
Rise and grind, realistic-style. Or maybe more specifically? Just get through the day.<\/p>\n
Step 1: Get up<\/strong> Step 2: Caffeinate<\/strong> Step 3: Get ready, eat breakfast \u2013 the specifics are yours to decide<\/strong> Step 4: Honestly, just do the work<\/strong> Step 5: Make a list of ridiculous to-do tasks<\/strong> Step 6: Eat lunch<\/strong> Step 7: Just plow through the afternoon<\/strong> Step 8: Celebrate the end of your marathon<\/strong> It\u2019s the start of the work week, and you know what that means: the majority of anyone \u201clargely online\u201d will be preaching the rise and grind manifesto while the rest of us lay in bed far too long, scrolling through Twitter and wondering if the people we worked for could be charmed into paying us […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67426,"featured_media":117116,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64591],"tags":[83613,83292],"class_list":["post-117115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wellness","tag-anne-t-donahue-musings","tag-top-story"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nGet up! Just get up. Sit your body up, and do not put your head back on that pillow. I know the light hurts, and you\u2019re tired, and the last thing you want to hear is me bossing you around in the A.M., but look: get up. It\u2019s fine. Everybody feels this exhausted, it\u2019s not just you.<\/p>\n
\nThis isn\u2019t for anyone off caffeine, I\u2019m sorry. This morning, pre-Pepsi, I could feel the caffeine headache beginning, and I wondered out loud (to the plants I\u2019ve managed to keep alive) who\u2019s ever successfully weaned themselves off the one thing I need to stay alive. So: drink your coffee. Make your coffee, drink your coffee. Speak to no one. This isn\u2019t their journey. Trick your brain into thinking you\u2019ve slept enough. And then get ready.<\/p>\n
\nI can\u2019t eat breakfast until lunchtime because my stomach and I are Sam and Diane from Cheers<\/em>. So eat breakfast if you want, or don\u2019t if you\u2019d rather consume a full pot of coffee with enough milk to justify it being a dairy treat. Then: get ready. I don\u2019t know what this means for you, but try to look like a person. You can do this. You can make your hair presentable enough that should you see a person you hate, they will be in envy of you. You can choose an outfit you feel powerful in. Why? Because otherwise you will spend all day staring down at the button-up you bought only because it was on sale, and revel in regret. First: that you bought it at all (it\u2019s not your fault \u2013 I just did it like, two weeks ago), and second: that you\u2019re stuck feeling like it\u2019s 2002 and you\u2019re dressed appropriately for grad photos.<\/p>\n
\nJust do the work today. That is your goal. Make a list of what you need to do, and then do it. That\u2019s it. Does it need to be good? I mean, probably (if you want to remain employed). But aim simply for completion. My favourite thing to say is that you will do it because you don\u2019t have a choice. And I mean, you can absolutely choose not to do something. But when it comes to doing your job, the other choice is job abandonment and you need to pay rent. So head down, headphones in, whatever. Treat yourself to another Pepsi.<\/p>\n
\nI would love to say that you can achieve everything with positivity, but that isn\u2019t true and I don\u2019t trust anybody who believes it. Instead, I believe in rewarding myself for doing the least on days where I\u2019m not sure I can get through doing the most. Which is why I have tasks like \u201cmake list\u201d and \u201cemail so-and-so\u201d on my to-do list, so that when I do those things, I am reminded of what I can achieve. (Everything.) And so can you.<\/p>\n
\nYou made it to lunch. You, a person who used eight bottles of dry shampoo on your messy bun, has made it hours into the work day, and now you are going to nourish yourself with various forms of food. What should you eat? I don\u2019t know you, and I don\u2019t know what you want. But I do know that you should feast only on what you\u2019re craving because life is short and you deserve it. The other day all I wanted to eat was chicken fingers, and do you know what I did? I ate them. Because life is hard and I\u2019m not about to stop denying myself types of food in an attempt to . . . I don\u2019t know what. Feel fulfilled? For heaven\u2019s sake.<\/p>\n
\nThis is the ultimate test: will you survive? Yes. But the only way you will is to add more things to your to-do list that involve \u201cgrabbing a coffee\u201d and \u201casking co-worker about their weekend\u201d and then finding excuses to go outside and remind yourself that in mere hours, the fresh air is yours.<\/p>\n
\nBecause you did it. Look at what you achieved! YOU GOT THROUGH THE DAY. (Anybody who can\u2019t believe this can be a battle are people I do not want or need to know, goodbye.) You made it through, and now the evening is yours. And so help me, if you don\u2019t use at least a minute to celebrate what you\u2019ve achieved, you don\u2019t deserve this step-by-step guide to survival. Eat an ice cream. Watch a Netflix. Walk around the city with your friend, screaming into the night about how tired you are. Read a book. Sit, staring at nothing. You are free now. Tomorrow will be easier. And if it isn\u2019t, consult this list. Or find me on Twitter, and read all my tweets, knowing that it could always be a little more grim.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"