{"id":117148,"date":"2019-06-20T10:15:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-20T14:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=117148"},"modified":"2019-07-15T15:10:09","modified_gmt":"2019-07-15T19:10:09","slug":"every-franchise-we-deserve-to-see-keanu-reeves-in","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/every-franchise-we-deserve-to-see-keanu-reeves-in\/","title":{"rendered":"Every Franchise We Deserve To See Keanu Reeves In"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week, the world collectively burst into joy-tears upon hearing that Keanu Reeves is being considered for \u2013 nay, being actively <a href=\"https:\/\/comicbook.com\/marvel\/2019\/06\/19\/marvel-studios-kevin-feige-confirms-conversations-keanu-reeves-mcu\/\">pursued by &#8212; the MCU<\/a>, with Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige going so far as to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know when, if, or ever he\u2019ll join the MCU, but we very much want to figure out the right way to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And to that I say: amen. Amen, and bless us everyone, and may the world exist long enough for us to bask in the glow of Keanu\u2019s aura and essence in MCU form. Granted, I haven\u2019t seen a Marvel film in years because there are so many and I got overwhelmed and opted to read only spoilers on the internet, but even those of us who have zero feelings about any Avenger can understand that Keanu Reeves existing in a superhero capacity is a gift we do not deserve (but will graciously and desperately accept).<\/p>\n<p>We will also accept more Keanu. And because I\u2019m not just someone who criticizes or suggests without offering a solution of my own, here are all the other franchises\/reboots\/and movies that would benefit from Reeves affiliation.<\/p>\n<p>I would also accept a Keanu Reeves one-man show.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>I Think You Should Leave<\/em>cameo<\/strong><br \/>\nYou think Keanu Reeves isn\u2019t funny? That he simply <em>reads lines<\/em>and exists as some two-dimensional thespian? Of course you don\u2019t. If you\u2019ve gotten this far, you\u2019re obviously a fan and know that he\u2019s funny in a legitimate way, not in a \u201csaid one thing one time that wasn\u2019t terrible and we laughed anyway because we\u2019re in love with him\u201d obsession. After all, did you see <em>Always Be My Maybe<\/em>? Have you watched the bloopers? Heard the tales? Reveled in the knowledge that Keanu improvised certain lines and has the comedic timing of someone you both want to be and want to be with? Exactly. So put him in the greatest Netflix original series that\u2019s ever existed, and imagine him screaming that it isn\u2019t Turbo Time.<\/p>\n<p>Because I do, every damn day.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Star Wars<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nHow many new <em>Star Wars<\/em> movies are happening? 24? 16? I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t care! But if Keanu was cast as literally anything (outside of like, a robot who didn\u2019t have a face), I would care so much. I would care about him going up against Ben \u201cKylo Ren\u201d Solo. I would care about him talking to Luke Skywalker. I would care about him holding a light saber. And if you think you wouldn\u2019t care, you\u2019re lying to yourself and also to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Fast and the Furious<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nBut hear me out: in this version, he either simply drives around for two hours, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, and always down to roll through a drive-thru. Or the existing characters of the <em>Fast and Furious<\/em> listen to a podcast voiced by Keanu. Meaning: they don\u2019t speak that much. But that\u2019s okay, because we\u2019d all be enjoying a podcast.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Harry Potter<\/em><\/strong> \/ <strong><em>Fantastic Beasts<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nI cannot imagine anything better than Keanu Reeves replacing Johnny Depp. In anything, actually, but especially in this.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Jurassic Park<\/em> \/ <em>Jurassic World<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nHe would be man who loves dinosaurs. Why? Because this is a believable thing, and I know in my heart that should dinosaurs once again roam, Keanu Reeves wouldn\u2019t want anything but the very best for them. Also, Chris Pratt is starting to get on my last nerve, and this is the future the liberals (me) want.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>James Bond<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\n\u201cBut Anne!\u201d you object foolishly. \u201cJames Bond is British!\u201d Hear me now: I don\u2019t care. Did you like the last <em>James Bond<\/em> film? Did you enjoy it? Did you watch, thinking, \u201cWow, this is top tier entertainment that in no way undoes everything <em>Skyfall<\/em> worked to achieve!\u201d If so, you are ridiculous and I refuse to make eye contact with you. But if, like me, you know <em>James Bond<\/em> deserves . . . something (anything) more, enter: Reeves. And if not as James Bond himself (Keanu would never object women in that way, and we all know it), then perhaps as the only friend James has. Because heaven knows Jimmy B needs one. Dude is middle-aged and cruising hard towards sad, older rich dude who actively pursues women who can barely drink legally in America. Keanu Reeves is not about this.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>X-Men<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nJust kidding, I don\u2019t know what this franchise is even doing anymore, but I would never put this blessed man near it.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Sex and the City<\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nIn which the movie is simply the four women at brunch, talking to Keanu Reeves. And not about sex or relationships, but about existentialism and staying true to one\u2019s self while navigating the complexities of age and relevency. Also, then, they would shop for two hours. Preferably three. And Chris Noth would show up and say, \u201cKeanu Reeves? Big fan.\u201d Then the theme song would play.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week, the world collectively burst into joy-tears upon hearing that Keanu Reeves is being considered for \u2013 nay, being actively pursued by &#8212; the MCU, with Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige going so far as to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know when, if, or ever he\u2019ll join the MCU, but we very much want to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67426,"featured_media":117149,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[81718],"tags":[83613,74356,83292,81720],"class_list":["post-117148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pop-culture","tag-anne-t-donahue-musings","tag-keanu-reeves","tag-top-story","tag-topstory"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Every Franchise We Deserve To See Keanu Reeves In - 29Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Every Franchise We Deserve To See Keanu Reeves In - 29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week, the world collectively burst into joy-tears upon hearing that Keanu Reeves is being considered for \u2013 nay, being actively pursued by &#8212; the MCU, with Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige going so far as to say, \u201cI don\u2019t know when, if, or ever he\u2019ll join the MCU, but we very much want to [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/every-franchise-we-deserve-to-see-keanu-reeves-in\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/29Secrets\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-06-20T14:15:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-07-15T19:10:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Every-Franchise-We-Deserve-To-See-Keanu-Reeves-In.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"810\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"540\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Anne T. Donahue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@https:\/\/twitter.com\/annetdonahue\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@29secrets\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Anne T. Donahue\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/every-franchise-we-deserve-to-see-keanu-reeves-in\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/every-franchise-we-deserve-to-see-keanu-reeves-in\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Anne T. 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