{"id":120487,"date":"2020-04-30T12:45:26","date_gmt":"2020-04-30T16:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=120487"},"modified":"2021-02-04T16:49:31","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T21:49:31","slug":"the-only-way-ive-been-able-to-find-a-semblance-of-normalcy-is-by-focusing-on-the-smallest-things-possible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wellness\/the-only-way-ive-been-able-to-find-a-semblance-of-normalcy-is-by-focusing-on-the-smallest-things-possible\/","title":{"rendered":"The Only Way I\u2019ve Been Able To Find A Semblance Of Normalcy Is By Focusing On The Smallest Things Possible"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Anne T. Donahue<\/strong><\/p>\n

The only way I\u2019ve been able to find a semblance of normalcy over the last 382 days is by focusing on the smallest things possible. I write down everything I possibly can in my planner. I delete my text messages after writing back to them. My email inbox is usually between two and zero, and while I\u2019ve always been minimalist in terms of organization, I do it now so that I feel in control.<\/p>\n

Because \u2013 no shit \u2013 I am not. With nearly two months of quarantine under our belts, I\u2019m finally ready to admit that there\u2019s nothing I can do to regain the feeling that regardless of what may or may not happen, I am still the one in charge. None of us are, even those who are getting paid to be just that. We will always just be humans at the mercy of germs and bacteria and the way our bodies react to them. And to know this is very humbling and overwhelming and scary, especially for control freaks like me.<\/p>\n

So to keep the crushing despair at bay, I\u2019ve made my world as small as possible. Not in terms of not reading the news or engaging with my friends or family less (as if), but in terms of chiseling my mindset down from a large stone building to a stone placed next to a door. Pre-quarantine, I looked at my present and future like an expanse I needed to conquer. Now, I take things step by step, and treat everything from making the bed to doing my makeup to drinking a hot cup of tea like a small victory. That way, these victories make up my day instead of the sense of failure that tends to accompany the paralysis of not knowing who\u2019s going to get sick when and which date we\u2019ll all be free to hang and chill. That way, I feel like a person who is capable and can live and move and participate in my own life instead of someone who\u2019s lost her grip on it.<\/p>\n

Because what I think has become one of the most terrifying things behind our quarantined walls is that none of us know when they will come down. And to make it through this awful, strange, question mark of an era, you\u2019ve got to believe you\u2019re doing something (anything!) that resembles a sliver of normalcy. You\u2019ve got to treat doing dishes as something you did, not something that simply soaks into the rest of the day. You\u2019ve got to congratulate yourself on remembering to eat, on making the bed, on doing the tasks you know you have to (and will) do regardless, but for sake of sanity are now testaments to the fact that you aren\u2019t stagnant. Today, I did my makeup and got ready like it was any other Thursday, despite knowing my highlight will be talking on the phone to a pal who can\u2019t see me. My goals? They aren\u2019t even close to \u201cdo this work thing\u201d or \u201cwatch this TV show in its entirety\u201d or \u201cbe productive outside of keeping myself fed.\u201d They\u2019ve been whittled down to going minute by minute, basic task by basic task, and then rewarding myself with a freezie because I just bought a box and plan to consume a full one every week.<\/p>\n

And right now this is enough. One step at a time, one second after second. I can\u2019t handle \u201cafter quarantine ends\u201d conversations because they make me long for something that doesn\u2019t even have a start date, and I\u2019m especially uninterested in parading productivity around like it\u2019s a badge of honor to be placed on a sash that nobody\u2019s even made. I am here for our small worlds. I am here for feeling like I\u2019ve done something massive by watering the plants. I am here for our dark, stupid jokes on the internet because we need to vent our fear and frustration, and I am here for the weirdness we\u2019ve begun to tap into because without it, we feel like we might disappear. To keep going is all I can handle, and I\u2019m proud of all of us for doing just that. Step by step, hour by hour, minute by minute, and so on. Welcome to our tiny-ass worlds.<\/p>\n

Need a little more Anne? Read more from Anne T. Donahue right here<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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