{"id":120583,"date":"2020-05-15T15:17:00","date_gmt":"2020-05-15T19:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=120583"},"modified":"2021-02-04T16:46:30","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T21:46:30","slug":"an-extensive-list-of-what-to-do-this-long-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wellness\/an-extensive-list-of-what-to-do-this-long-weekend\/","title":{"rendered":"An Extensive List Of What To Do This Long Weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Anne T. Donahue<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hello, it\u2019s me, your quarantine queen. (Just kidding, but if you would like to make that my nickname, I won\u2019t be upset because I will not be making plans with anybody until . . . I don\u2019t know. This ends? In six years? I trust nobody.) And just in time for the long weekend, I\u2019m wading in to offer suggestions to anyone who usually makes May 2-4 their official start to the summer. Do I tend to do that? No, but I am notoriously un-fun. So in an attempt to be<\/em> fun, I have suggestions. And not just because I\u2019m high on the knowledge that the shorts I ordered from the Gap back in April are supposed to show up at my house today.<\/p>\n

So follow my lead and do these things:<\/p>\n

Read another book<\/strong>
\nWhat, are we all too good to keep reading? Because it\u2019s all we\u2019ve been doing for the last two months-and-then-some? Get out of here. A million books await us. Read one outside, hold it up in front of your face, and then lower it dramatically any time anybody walks by and say, \u201cHmm\u201d as if you\u2019re disapproving of all you\u2019re witnessing. Assert power when you have it. Unless you\u2019re trying to bully somebody walking their dog or cat (I\u2019ve seen it!) because, look: those animals are above us and always have been.<\/p>\n

Commit only to your teen treats<\/strong>
\nThe weekend before last I drank Fruitopia, limeade, Snapple, and enjoyed 17 freezies, all of which dehydrated me and contributed to the sun poisoning I got. But I digress: now is the time to regress so far that you will not recognize the person you once were in March. We are children again. Eat some popsicles. Have ice cream for dinner. Sit on your front step, eating cookie dough out of the tube because honestly, what else is there. (Disclaimer: you\u2019re not technically supposed to, due to bacteria \u2013 so use your own discretion, and do not actually listen to me.) Also, pizza. None of us are eating enough pizza. Eat more pizza. And drink pop before noon.<\/p>\n

Roam the streets<\/strong>
\nWithin reason. Like, follow the quarantine rules and also don\u2019t beeline to the most populated place you can find and bring your chaos with you. What do you think this is? No, be an adult. Roam with whoever it is you live with, or roam in the daytime alone (safely, which I say as someone who will not walk alone at night because I am afraid of everyone and everything, and trust not a bloody soul \u2013 but also, I have many neuroses, hi), or pace up and down one particular sect of sidewalk because chaos reigns. Just remember that it\u2019s allergy season, so good luck and god speed, nature is trying to destroy me.<\/p>\n

Bake a pie (specifically a pie!)<\/strong>
\nHere is the thing about baking in quarantine: everyone\u2019s already made all the bread, and I can\u2019t do it, I just can\u2019t, I\u2019m sorry. But pie? PIE? You can make a pie. You can add ready-made crust to your grocery order, blind bake it, then fill it with berries, sugar, and cornstarch and toss it into the oven. Will it look good? Nope! It will look terrible. But it will taste delicious, and that\u2019s the point of pie, anyway. Also: chocolate cream pie. But you have to stir forever and will want to take your arm off afterwards. That said, it\u2019s a long weekend and what else are you doing? Exactly, so yes I will take a slice of chocolate cream, thank you for asking.<\/p>\n

Literally surround yourself with pink flamingos<\/strong>
\nI found four at Lowe\u2019s last year, and now the only thing I can think about are my pink flamingos. Especially since four isn\u2019t nearly enough, and I need more to make it feel like summer, and because I will not be hanging out with anybody outside of my direct household for the foreseeable future. So now, plastic pink flamingos are my friends now. They are to whom I will tell my secrets. They are who I will crack open a cold one (of orange Crush) with. They are who will remind me of the precious passage of time.<\/p>\n

Move swiftly from jogging pants to jogging pant shorts<\/strong>
\nIf you think I\u2019m going to move on from an elastic waist because it\u2019s not snowing anymore, you are sadly mistaken and do not understand me at all. That said, I will gladly wear my new Gap shorts because I have been thinking about them for weeks and weeks, envisioning how to wear my array of t-shirts with them, and which sneakers I can pair them with. It\u2019s the Look the Way You Did in 11th Grade Challenge™, and I plan to win. Mainly because I\u2019m 100% competing with myself and a bunch of pink flamingos.<\/p>\n

Again, pizza<\/strong>
\nAnd none of that gourmet shit. It\u2019s a long weekend. Everything feels terrible. Still. Still! Order from wherever\u2019s close, take shots of available dipping sauces, and wash it all down with root beer. Will you feel sick? Absolutely. But that\u2019s what May 2-4 is all about: regret and poor decisions. Surrounded by friends who love you (pink flamingos).<\/p>\n

Need a little more Anne? Read more from Anne T. Donahue right here<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By\u00a0Anne T. Donahue Hello, it\u2019s me, your quarantine queen. (Just kidding, but if you would like to make that my nickname, I won\u2019t be upset because I will not be making plans with anybody until . . . I don\u2019t know. This ends? In six years? I trust nobody.) And just in time for the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":67426,"featured_media":120584,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[83792,64591],"tags":[83613,83292,81720],"class_list":["post-120583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listen-up-by-anne-t-donahue","category-wellness","tag-anne-t-donahue-musings","tag-top-story","tag-topstory"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAn Extensive List Of What To Do This Long Weekend - 29Secrets<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Hello, it\u2019s me, your quarantine queen. 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