{"id":120935,"date":"2020-08-20T13:10:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-20T17:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=120935"},"modified":"2021-02-04T16:15:22","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T21:15:22","slug":"im-breaking-up-with-planners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wellness\/im-breaking-up-with-planners\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m Breaking Up With Planners"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Anne T. Donahue<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once upon a time (about a month ago) I loved paper planners. I loved writing assignments and appointments down, crossing them out after they were finished, and colour-coding my entire existence because I like to pretend I\u2019m fun by using pink highlighter for any\/all dinner plans.<\/p>\n

But then this year happened. And with it, the necessity of using a planner at all began to seem ridiculous because we are all in Russian Doll<\/em> where everything is the same, every day, outside of maybe one thing a week that necessitates being remembered.<\/p>\n

And even that one thing is something pretty mundane. A physio appointment. A phone session with my therapist. The deadline for mailing back my cable equipment so that I can escape the late return fee. Every so often, I\u2019ve gotten to throw down a socially distant friend date that becomes a beacon of hope and joy amidst the now-muted panic (it never goes away, but I\u2019ve learned to make it a little quieter), but outside those beautiful moments, it\u2019s more of the same: a few deadlines, random tasks I\u2019ve thrown into the mix to make my calendar look less sad, nothing else. I can highlight \u2018til the cows come home, and I\u2019ll still be living the very same life: quieter, more cautious, and relatively small. And why would I want a paper planner with which to remember any of that?<\/p>\n

Or, maybe more specifically, why would I want to treat this time in my life like any other time in my life? Over the last million months, I\u2019ve learned that as much as I like to think I\u2019m in control, I\u2019m not. I\u2019ve learned that micromanaging aspects of my life doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019ve hacked a system that\u2019s allowed me to escape the nightmare we\u2019re all living. No number of cute stickers and written entries will calm the existential anxiety that\u2019s replaced my \u201cbut what if I go out to a restaurant and don\u2019t feel well and have to drive home?\u201d worries. (So quaint! I used to actively worry about where I\u2019d park my car downtown<\/em>.)\u00a0 Even my middle school approach to summer (see: doing not very much and feeling shockingly fine about it) doesn\u2019t necessitate the permanence of keeping track of my life with ink. What do I think I\u2019m doing? How important do I think I am? My life, like everyone\u2019s lives, has largely blown up and then shrunk monumentally. If I need to make that look fancy via paper planner, then heaven help us all.<\/p>\n

So I made the transfer. I began using the goddamn Google Calendar. I inputted all important dates (so: two appointments and maybe three deadlines) and put my planner into recycling. The stickers I\u2019d bought to make my agenda look exciting and fun I now give to my pals when I send them mail. The highlighters I bought, I now use for my school notes. I look at my calendar maybe once or twice a day, and while I still love organization and feeling in-control of nonsense things, I have no real attachment to plans anymore because I know they can change in an instant. I know nothing is written in stone, and that a Tetris-style approach to scheduling creates more work than a planner can hold. I know I am not in control of anything outside of my words and actions, and I am certainly not in control over the way the world works, even if I structure my own world within an inch of my life.<\/p>\n

And between you and I, I like this approach better. I like releasing my grasp on something I never had a hold of, anyway. I like caring less about something so small and giving myself space to care about bigger things. I like being humbled by the realization that not even the most organized approach to being alive means that I\u2019m really living. And I like being able to just delete a thing if I have to cancel it and then never think about it again.<\/p>\n

Plus, I just don\u2019t want a paper document that will force me to remember how this year went to shit. I don\u2019t need to look at the way plans tapered off and tasks like \u201cgo to the drycleaners\u201d replaced hangs with friends. Who needs that? It\u2019s the same reason why I don\u2019t journal. I\u2019ll remember what I need to, but I\u2019d rather be buried alive by several thousand planners than recall the months \u201cbuy sunscreen\u201d were the pinnacle of my life.<\/p>\n

Need a little more Anne? Read more from Anne T. Donahue right here<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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