{"id":121760,"date":"2021-03-04T11:36:43","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T16:36:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/?p=121760"},"modified":"2021-03-04T11:38:06","modified_gmt":"2021-03-04T16:38:06","slug":"ill-write-back-when-i-want-within-reason","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/wellness\/ill-write-back-when-i-want-within-reason\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ll Write Back When I Want (Within Reason)"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Anne T. Donahue<\/strong><\/p>\n

For most of my working life, I was an insufferable keener. I wrote back to emails right away, bragged about being a text message inbox zero, and felt actual guilt if something sat without response for more than three hours. \u201cI am excellent at communication!\u201d is an embarrassing thought I had more often than I\u2019d care to admit. \u201cI get it done and don\u2019t waste time!\u201d<\/p>\n

I am fun and always have been.<\/p>\n

But in retrospect, I have no idea what \u201cit\u201d was, nor why I equated replying to emails to having excellent communication skills. I don\u2019t know why I believed in my core that anybody who messaged me expected a prompt response (unless they went out of their way to say so), nor why I believed my speedy approach to fucking emails<\/em> mattered at all. (Emails! EMAILS!!) Ultimately, I think we cling to and try to control stupid things as proof that we\u2019ve got some handle on our own lives, even if said lives are spinning out of control. In my case, much was doing exactly that, so I took empty inboxes as a sign that maybe I wasn\u2019t an incredible failure.<\/p>\n

Yet that said, who cares? Who cares if I\u2019m fucking up, and who cares how quickly I can type \u201cSounds good!\u201d on my phone while in the car with my dad, making fun of every person alive. Who cares how many text messages I can get to, and who cares if it takes me just as long to reply to somebody who\u2019s not exactly prompt in their correspondence. WHO CARES<\/em>. Do I care? About the response habits of other people? (Only when waiting for a dire response or an explanation for why I haven\u2019t been paid yet.) About how quickly somebody I know can reply all? About the status of another person\u2019s inbox? Absolutely not, oh my God, please let me die. I\u2019ll get back to you when I get back to you, and also I am very tired.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s how I plan to strategize my email game going forward: I\u2019m not going to have one. Unless something is important or not writing back quickly would be rude and insensitive (because it\u2019s also important not to be a dick if somebody\u2019s waiting for you to answer a question), I\u2019m going to politely reject my old habits and write back when I can. When I feel like it. When I have a little spare time and I can give the message the attention it deserves instead. The thing is, I\u2019m a writer. A writer! And while I\u2019d like to think that I am a very important and in-demand person, I am not even remotely those things, and not a soul on this planet is sitting in wait, hoping beyond hope that they\u2019ll hear from me within 20 minutes of their initial reach-out. I like to write, but holy shit: nobody cares. And nobody especially cares about how good I am at a speedy reply. It\u2019s 2021 and the world is on fire: to believe my emails or texts are fodder for any discussion even remotely is delusional, bless my heart.<\/p>\n

Admittedly, once upon a time, I\u2019d have thought this was a wild move. But the older I\u2019ve gotten and the more shit we\u2019ve all had to endure, the more I understand that I\u2019m not nearly as important in the universal professional writing narrative as I liked to think I was. And that\u2019s thank God! Honestly, it\u2019s great! Who cares about any of it? It\u2019ll work out! I\u2019m very sorry for the months and years I spent bragging about getting that \u201cYou\u2019re caught up!\u201d graphic on Gmail, and I\u2019m sorry to everyone I still owe a response to. You\u2019re wonderful, and please don\u2019t take it personally. Which you won\u2019t, because it\u2019s text messaging and email. Two things that matter but also don\u2019t really at all, so may we all liberate ourselves from the pressure we put on ourselves to be around all the time for even an indifferent, \u201cK!\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pivoting to carrier pigeons now. Or, at the very least, a simple meme that sums up everything. (A sloth with bangs.)<\/p>\n

Need a little more Anne? Read more from Anne T. Donahue right here<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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