{"id":55624,"date":"2014-04-01T14:48:41","date_gmt":"2014-04-01T14:48:41","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2014-04-01T14:48:41","modified_gmt":"2014-04-01T14:48:41","slug":"lost-miranda-kerrs-muscle-mass","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/digiblocks.ca\/29secrets\/pop-culture\/daily-whisper\/lost-miranda-kerrs-muscle-mass\/","title":{"rendered":"LOST: Miranda Kerr’s Muscle Mass"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Okay I know we all like to have a few laughs around here, but something very serious is happening: Miranda Kerr is losing her muscle mass. Why? Because she's not having enough sex.<\/p>\n

I . . . okay. Wait, let me report on the facts before I allow us all to take one enormous step back and offer the greatest shrugging emoticon known to the human race because this is rich. First things first: yes, Miranda Kerr is "dating and loving it," but no, she doesn't have one night stands, so her life has basically just gone to shit.<\/p>\n

"One thing I've noticed is now that I'm having less sex my body isn't as toned," she told GQ<\/em>. "The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get."<\/p>\n

Thank you for sharing, Miranda Kerr! Oh, you'd like to share more? Alright, please for the love of all that is good do not let me stop you.<\/p>\n

"I always ask for a critique on my performance," she continued. "I always want to better myself in every way."<\/p>\n

Cool. As cool as her admission that she's had an orgasm in the air "alone" and "together"? Who even knows anymore. Sure! Yes, it's exactly as cool. Guys, I mean, hey. You want to treat sex as an excuse to bail on your YMCA membership, go for it. But, can we just not<\/em> Miranda Kerr? Can we just take a moment to understand what atrophy really is, and how one's lack of regular sex doesn't exactly fall under the umbrella of "this is a real problem"? <\/p>\n

It's not a real problem! Girl, buy some weights! That's all you have to do! Or, yes, you could talk about how hard life is to a magazine read by millions of people who, say, are trying to make ends meet (or battle any number of actual grown-up problems). Sure. And we thought Goop circa 2012 was bad. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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