Oh boy. Well, I mean, look. Not to say Blake Lively is a person who confuses me but she got married on a former slave plantation, so yes, I have been confused for a very long time. (Life hack: If tempted to get married on a former slave plantation, don’t. Choose another place! Like, there are many old buildings in the world that you can get married in, so maybe avoid a literal symbol of slavery and racism and death and torture. There is a very nice insurance building in my hometown that looks like an old house. Maybe try there.)<\/p>\n
And now I am more confused because Lively\u00a0took to Instagram yesterday and captioned a photo of herself with the iconic lyric, “LA face with an Oakland booty.” Which is not cool on several realms, because as Ira Madison III brilliantly argues at MTV<\/a>, the lyric operates under the same realm as Beyonce’s “Becky with the good hair.” Meaning that “LA face” refers to the white, American beauty standard, and the “Oakland booty” — as Madison says — “refers to a large derriere, an undesirable butt that Jane Fonda workout tape enthusiasts from LA wouldn’t be caught dead with.” So in short,\u00a0BLAKE NO<\/em>. “Baby Got Back” isn’t for you. That’s not how it works. I’m sorry.<\/p>\n\n